FEELING LOW AND GUILTY

There are so many thoughts coming out from my mind. Why so many negative thoughts? I don't know why I am feeling so different. I am feeling like I am having an anxiety. Feels like I want to go away from this place and want to live alone. Times flies but the memories doesn't fly. Feels like I am becoming more weird nowadays. Why I shout in small matter? I don't know what is bothering me. What triggered me? I am just trying to figure out what's wrong with me? I am not able to sleep whole night. It has been more than a week, no good sleep. Tried of life and everything. Wanna have a peaceful life. Although there are surroundings of people, I don't have any to share about mu thoughts and feelings. I don't have a place to cry and a person to hug. Some pains are never to be forgotten. It remains for long period of time. Wanted to focus on my own life and work but them memories of you doesn't let to move on. I don't know when will I be able to move on in my life? I am finding hard to move on. 

Feeling bad and guilty. I have done a mistake. I know I shouldn't have been rude with the person. I should have understood her problem and situation. Although I had said sorry, there is no peace in my heart. I don't have anyone to share how am I feeling and there is no one with who I can share what's going on my mind. I really want to cry and hug. Sometimes, guilty doesn't let me move forward. Although I want to get distracted, I am not able to because I have hurt someone. That will return back to me in future. I am ready to face it. Honestly, nobody knows how am I feeling right now. People see me smiling and jolly mood but who knows what is in my heart. Nobody knows about it. I want to share about my thoughts and feelings but with whom? I have a trust issues. Other people doesn't trust me. I am not able to win other people because of my own nature. It really bothering me. I don't want negative thoughts to come around but negative thoughts are not leaving me. I am in the seek of help. Feels like please somebody come and help me. I cannot help myself anymore. I have lost a hope and confident.