SONAKSHI'S STORY

Sonakshi was looking outside through the window. There was a snowfall. She was drinking milk coffee. The time showed 8:00 pm and the day was Saturday. Nowadays, her time passes by looking outside. It has been four years she has been living in Canada with loneliness.

She has been living in Canada with guilt. In the beginning, when Vishal she didn’t feel anything. But later, she felt his absence. Vishal loved her more than anything else. The way he took care of here was the best part but Sonakshi left Vishal in the greed of staying in Canada.

Her eyes were filled with tears. While drinking a cup of coffee, she started remembering the past.

I

Vishal was waiting for me at Durbar Marg, Coffee Shop. For the sake of my parent’s happiness, I went to visit Vishal. I was not ready to get married right now. Moreover, when I saw the photo of Vishal, I didn’t like him that much. Although he looked like South Indian Hero, I didn’t like him. I stuck him on his Facebook too. He had a beard which made me dislike him. The beard didn’t suit him. Although I didn’t like him, I had to meet him. The time to meet him was 10:30 in the morning but I was one hour late.

I was looking here and there. Meanwhile, my eyes were at the corner table. In the beginning, I was confused about whether he was Vishal or not. He looked different because he had shaved his beard. When he came near to me, then I believed that he was Vishal. In the beginning, we have normal talks like what we do and what we study, what we like and dislike.

Meanwhile, I said to Vishal, “Vishalji,   are you in a rush to marry or not?”

For a while, Vishal didn’t say anything. He gave a look. After a while, he said, “I am not in a rush to get married. To tell the truth, I don’t want to get married. For the sake of my parents, I came to meet you.”

With happiness, I said, “Then reject me.”

“What should I give the reason for the rejection?”

“Tell that you didn’t like me.”

He agreed with me. I was happy that he agreed with me. After coffee and snacks, we left the coffee shop. Although we rejected each other, we had become good friends.

II

Although we chatted on the social media, we haven’t met face to face and we were meeting four months. It was Friday and Vishal called me. He wanted to meet me so after my work, I met him at the Coffee Shop, Durbar Marg. We ordered coffee and some snacks.

“So, why did you call me?” I said.

“It has been a long time we haven’t met so I called you.”

“I too wanted to meet you,” I said.

“Can I know why?” Vishal said.

“My parents are after me for the marriage,” I said.

“Same here. Do you have a boyfriend?” Vishal said.

“No, yaar. Do you have a girlfriend?” I said.

He remained silent. We both were looking at each other. He was feeling shy. I was looking at him and said, “Why are you feeling shy? It seems you have a girlfriend?”

He nodded his head. I was happy in his happiness. “So, who is that lucky girl?”

Without wasting any time, Vishal said, “You.”

“What? What are you saying?” I am amazed.

“Yes, Sonakshi. I have started liking you. I fell in love with you at first sight. I want to marry you.”

The environment was silent. We both were looking at each other. Vishal seemed serious. I didn’t know how to react.

By breaking the silence, I said, “But I haven’t thought like that. I preferred you as a good friend. Sorry.”

After saying this, I left the place. He was looking at me and was sensitive. After this meeting, we started meeting less and there was communication less. I was applying for America for further studies but I was rejected so, I started working here in Nepal.

III

“I want to welcome you all at this meeting. You all guys know that why this meeting is held. Today, we are introducing our new staff. He will be working as a Program Coordinator in the Department of Migration. He had worked in two NGOs before as Monitoring and Evaluation. He is Arjun Shakya. Let’s welcome him.”

Arjun was sitting on the right side. He got up and greeted everyone. He was tall, thin and had a chocolate face. From the beginning, my eyes were on him.

Every staff got introduced with him and gave a brief introduction to what we work in the office.

I was working in the Human Rights office. It had been six months that I was working in the office. The organization was not that big and staffs were less. I was working in the department of law.

IV

I felt different when Arjun was near to me. My heart used to beat faster whenever he was near. His voice was such a charming that I wanted to listen to his voice. I fell in love with him and felt Arjun was made for me. In love, the brain and heart don’t work. I didn’t have that much confidence to express my feelings. I wanted to express my feelings but I felt if he rejected me.

After two months……

                                    I was in the office and working. The time had already shown 5:30 pm. While working, I didn’t notice the time and not even Arjun. I didn’t even know when he had come into my room.

After 20 minutes, Arjun said, “Madam, it seems you are interested to stay at the office.”

“Hum.”

I was focused on my work and didn’t focus on him. After a few minutes, he said, “Today, I think I won’t be able to date with a beautiful lady.”

Then, I looked at him. I felt ashamed that I didn’t recognize his voice. I got angry with myself. He smiled at me and I felt shy.

“Ok.” I easily accepted his proposal.

I switched off my computer. Then, I went with him to the coffee shop and two plates of mo: mo. We were silent. We looked at each other and smiled.

Arjun broke the silence and said, “How long have been working in this NGO?”

“Eight months.”

“Is this your first job?”

“Yes.”

We had normal talks on this day. After this coffee date, we started meeting frequently.  I was happy to meet him. It feels happy to meet the person you love. It feels that you want to listen to him and wanted to talk with him only. You want to spend the time with the loved one. If the loved one speaks, you feel jealous but you cannot show your feelings.

V

“Sonakshi, Will You Marry Me?” Arjun proposed me for the marriage. I was so excited as well as surprised. But I didn’t prefer to show my excitement in front of him. Our eyes met.

“I didn’t get any response.”

I hadn’t accepted that he would propose me for marriage. In the beginning, I thought to take the footage but wouldn’t and said, “I am pleased that you proposed me. I loved you since the beginning I saw but was petrified to express my feelings.  I thought you liked smarter girls, not my types. But today, I feel I am the luckiest girl to get you.”

We both smiled. On this day, we both had a coffee date. We spend quality time with each other.

After he proposed to me, I was lost in the memory of Arjun. Whenever I was alone, I used to smile. Moreover, I used to listen to romantic songs and felt that I was dancing with Arjun.

VI

After two months of his proposal, we got married. We both were happy in our life. I started getting opportunities in different NGOs and was getting a handsome salary. The problem started from here. Although Arjun had the experience, he wasn’t able to reach the height. I suggested him to apply in different places but he didn’t prefer to listen to me. He started feeling apprehensive. In the beginning, we argued a lot. He wanted me to leave the job but I disagreed with him. He started using hands. I was mentally and physically tortured. I was unsuccessful to save myself. Later, he was less interest to come home and stay with me. Furthermore, we couldn’t stay together and finally, we were separated.

VII

I was at the Coffee Shop, Durbar Marg. This place remains me of Vishal. We used to visit this place often. Today, I needed him as a good friend. I had been more than a year, we haven’t met. I wanted to meet but something stopped me.

Fortunately and surprisingly, Vishal was in front of me. We both greeted each other. He then sat in front of me. He asked about me. In the beginning, I lied to him that I was good but he understood about that I was not good through facial expression. He insisted me to tell if I have any problem and I expressed everything to him. My eyes were full of tears. Vishal was observing me.

He then proposed to me. I was surprised. Many thoughts came in my mind. But after a few minutes, I said yes because a good friend can be a good husband and can understand easily. After this proposal, we started meeting. I started forgetting my past. I was pleased to get the support of Vishal.

We wanted to marry but it was difficult for us to get married because Vishal’s mother didn’t accept me. One reason was we had rejected each other before and secondly, I was a divorcee. We both convinced our parents and finally, they accepted our relationship.

After two months, we got married. I felt that I was the luckiest person to get married to Vishal. It was like a dream to come true.

VIII

Vishal and his father loved and respected me but my mother-in-law didn’t like me that much. I was hopeful that time will change everything. During the six months, we both were happy.

After six months, Vishal got full scholarship in Canada in the subject ‘Monitoring and Evaluation’ for the Ph.D. We both were sad as well as happy. I was happy that Vishal got a good opportunity and sad because we wouldn’t spend that much time with each other. I felt like what I should do without him.

When Vishal left Nepal, most of the time, pulled my legs which were out of the control. Once I was in the kitchen, she came. She was observing me and said, “First, you left the husband and made my son stay in Canada. You separated him from me.”

We both looked at each other. I preferred to remain silent and ignored the matter. Most of the time, she used to say that I separated Vishal from her. But for Vishal’s sake, I was quite.

IX

After a year…..

                       Vishal requested me to apply for Canada. In the beginning, I didn’t prefer to apply for Canada because I had a good job but Vishal convinced me to apply so I applied for Canada and I got the visa.

Finally, the day arrived and I was happy to meet Vishal. After 24 hours of travel, I reached the airport in Canada. I was looking here and there. I was excited to meet him. After a few minutes, I saw Vishal. He was waiting for me. When he saw me, when he saw me, he waved at me. I too waved him back. We both were happy. We hugged each other. 

When I saw Vishal, I forgot my tiredness. He called a cap and we reached the apartment. After being fresh, we were in the kitchen. Vishal made my favorite dish which made me happier.

I got admission at one of the Universities with the full scholarship in a Master’s Degree in International Law. After coming to Canada, my perceptive was changed. Everything was different from Nepal like working skills and education system. Although the country was cold, I loved the place.

After completion of my studies, I got a good job at the University. Moreover, I got an opportunity for learning. The best part of the country was to respect the work.

X

Vishal completed his Ph.D. After defending for the thesis, he was waiting for me at home. After completing my work, I reached home around 6:30 pm. He had cooked my favourite dishes. After changing my clothes, I came to the dinner table and we started having dinner. While having dinner, Vishal said, “I have good news for you.”

“Say.”  

“I am planning to return back to Nepal. With me, you are also going with me.”

“What? What are you saying?”

“Why are you so surprised? Aren’t you happy?”

The environment was in tension. We both were looking at each other’s face.

By breaking the silence, I said, “I know that you want to return back to Nepal but this is not the right time.”

“I know you also want to go back to Nepal.” Vishal changed his facial expression.

 “I wanted to stay in Nepal but after coming here, my perceptive have been changed. Now, I don’t want to return back. We have good opportunities here. Why should we return back?”

“What are you saying Sonakshi?”

“Did I say anything wrong?”

“Sonakshi, let’s go back to Nepal. We have opportunities in Nepal too.”

“We have better here.” I was angry.  I left the dinner table and was on the bed. He was observing me. After one hour, he came into the room. He wanted to say something but he knew my mood. So, he remained silent. After this argument, we often argue on the same topic. This continued for three months. Finally, we separated and he left for Nepal.

When he left for Nepal, I was normal but slowly, I felt his absence. When time passed, I wasn’t able to forget him. The way he treated me, the way he respected me and the way he loved me was missed by me. I wanted to say sorry but it was too late.

Every day, when I see couples at Park, I feel bad. I remember Vishal and whenever I remember Vishal, I felt emotional and tears were in my eyes. I looked at his Facebook and saw his photos with Sophie. I felt Sophie very lucky. She got the true love and I lost true love.

........................................................................................................................

Every day, Sonakshi looked the rainfall from the window. She loved the rain. More than Sonakshi, Vishal loved the rain. He looked at the rainfall for many hours. For the sake of Vishal, she started loving the rain.

She sometimes felt the life was strange. Whom she had loved, he betrayed her and to whom she was loved, she left him. She had done so many mistakes in her life but not understanding Vishal was her mistake. Not to understand the true love was her mistake. In her life, she gave priority to her work rather than love. That’s why Vishal left her. Today, she is successful but she is alone and nobody is there to see her success. Although she had colleagues, she feels alone.

Vishal has his happy family; Sophie supported Vishal as a good friend as well as a good wife. That’s why he is a successful person. Now, Sonakshi has only his memories.