ANURAG I

I

I didn’t know that one’s life would be affected by another person. In my life too, one person’s presence affected my life.  I neither got him nor was able to forget him.  Although I didn’t get his love his memories are still with me. His memories didn’t go away from life. His name was Anurag. Like his name, he was decent and down to earth but time separated us. I still remember the day we had met. We had met in a different manner.

I met Anurag six months ago. I was returning back home from the office. I worked in NGO which was located at Lalitpur. The time showed 6:00 pm. I was trapped in the traffic jam of Koteshwor. It had been more than half an hour; still, I was stuck in the jam. I lost my patience so, I got out of my car.  There was a crowd. When I went inside the crowd, I saw one person lying on the ground who was injured. The crowd didn’t help him and they were gossiping. As a human being, I carried him and kept him in my car. Then, I took him to Medicare Hospital, Chabhill. I don’t why I took him to Chabhill, instead of taking near hospitals of Koteshwor. When I reached Medicare Hospital, I immediately took him out and admitted him in the emergency ward. After completing the work at the hospital I reached home in a hurry. I cooked food and ate food. After finishing the kitchen’s work, I packed my clothes and went back to the hospital. I spend my night at the hospital.

I started spending time in the hospital rather than in an office. It had been three days; I was in the hospital instead of home. Anurag was still unconscious. To be honest, these three days, I was changed. I have changed in the sense that my concentration was all the time with Anurag. I wasn’t able to concentrate on my work. Although I didn’t know anything about Anurag, I was attracted to him.

II

After a week…..

I took a leave from the office and I was working in the hospital. When I was working on a laptop, I heard Anurag saying ‘Hu.’ He was continuously saying ‘Hu.’ I went nearby him and I called the doctor. Anurag was conscious after days. I was more than happy. Anurag was trying to get up and nurses were helping him to get up.

When Anurag got up, a doctor said, “We are happy that you came conscious after ten days.”

He remained silent and looked at us. Anurag broke the silence and said, “Who saved me from the accident?”

The doctor showed at me and said, “Sophiyaji saved you. If she didn’t bring you to the hospital at the time, you would have died.”

He was looking at me. His eyes were filled with tears. Moreover, his eyes were saying something but he couldn’t express his feelings. Something was stopping him. After looking at me, he said, he said to the doctor, “When shall I be discharged?”

“We will discharge you after a week.”

Anurag remained silent and without saying anything, he slept. It seemed he wasn’t happy. After observing him, I felt that he doesn’t want to live. Something was disturbing him. I wanted to know more about him.

III

After a week, I brought Anurag in my home. I asked Anurag about his family but he didn’t prefer to say about them. So, I brought him to my home. When he was at my home, I asked him again about his family. He got emotional whenever his family questions were asked. He never responded to my questions. So, I decided to wait for the right time.

When I brought him in my home, Anurag said, “Why did you bring me in your home? I would have managed myself.”

“I know you would have managed but who could look after you. You didn’t tell me about your family. If you had told me about your family, I would have helped to reach there. I did not know about your family so, I brought you here to my home. I suggest you go home after you recover.”

He remained silent and was lost in his world.

IV

It was fine on Saturday. He was staying with me for two weeks. The time showed 8:00 am and we were in the sitting room. Furthermore, we were drinking a cup of tea.  While I was drinking tea, I was observing him. He was lost in his world. After a few sips, I said, “Where are you lost?”

He gave a look at me and said, “I troubled a lot. You have helped me a lot. Now, it’s time for me to go back home.”

When he talked about returning back home, I felt different. I wanted him to be with me all the time. I started liking him and felt different wherever he was with me.

“After recovery, you can go back home.”

“I want to go back home. I don’t want to trouble you anymore. More than that, what will society and family say?”

“My parents are in the United States with my elder sister. They are open-minded. If we haven’t done any crimes, we should not fear. I helped you as a human being. Why should we give clarification to society?”

He remained silent and got up from the sofa. He left the living room and went to the guest room. I felt as if I said something wrong. I followed him. He was packing his clothes. Meanwhile, I said, “What are you doing?”

“I want to return back home.”

“But in this condition? You cannot walk properly. It takes time to recover. The doctor too told to have a rest for more than two weeks.”

“Who are you to stop me? Are you my relatives? I am alright. Why don’t you understand that I want to return back home? We don’t have any relationship.” Anurag said angrily.

My heart was heavy. Although I was not angry, I was hurt. I don’t know why I was hurt. Anurag was right that who was I to interfere in his life. I started falling in love with him. I didn’t know what’s in his heart. I left the guest room and was in my room. After a few minutes, Anurag came into my room. I was lying on the bed and when I saw him, I didn’t respond to him. We both were looking at each other. He was observing him.

Breaking the silence, Anurag said, “I am really sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you and didn’t mean to say like that. My words might have hurt you and you might be upset. I have own problem that’s why I remain silent. I started being loneliness. I don’t want to live my life. I want to die. I am fed with my own life. I feel like for what purpose to live. I don’t have any purpose and a meaningful life. I have a frustrating and boring life.”

“Can I know what had happened in your life? Please, share with me. If you share your problem, your heart will be light. If I can help, I will help you.”

V

I was happy in my life. I had a good job in the bank. My colleague liked me as well as my job. Moreover, my parents were happy with my progress in the bank. They only had complained that I was single. My mother was showing me photos of girls but I ignored to see the photo. When I wasn’t listening to them, my parents were annoyed and they were trying to persuade to get married.  Finally, I gave up and agreed to get married. When I agreed, my mother again started to show the photos. When I returned back home from the office, my mother came with the photo. Although I took the photo, I didn’t see the photo. She followed me.

“First, look at the photo.” She said in the rush.

“Mom, please let me be fresh, then I will see the photo.”

“First, see the photo.”

For the sake of my mom, I gave a look at the photo. When I saw the photo, I liked the girl. She had a nice height fair skin and short hair. I said yes and my mother was happy.

After two days, the time was 7:00 pm. I was lost in social media. Meanwhile, my mother came into my room and sat in the bed. She was sitting near me. She was looking at me and said, “You are mostly hung on the mobile. Please stop using social media when I am with you. I need to talk to you.”

Then, I kept my mobile on the table and said, “What do you want to say?”

“Tomorrow is Saturday and you need to meet a girl.”

“Ok but at what time?”

“New Baneshwor’s Indreni Café at 11:30 am.”

I agreed. I didn’t want to be in the relationship but for the sake of my parents, I said yes.

The next day, I got ready and it was already 10:10 am. I rushed to meet here. There was less jam so, I reached Indreni on time. I was at the corner table. After a few minutes, the waiter came with the menu and I requested him to come after an hour.

The time was 11:45 and I was waiting for her. I was focusing on my watch only. I was drinking a glass of water, meanwhile, I saw Simi. She had worn black jeans and a red t-shirt. She looked simple. She hadn’t tide her hair. I fell in love with Simi at first sight.

Simi was looking here and there. I waved my hand. She saw me and came to the table. She smiled and I too smiled. In the beginning, we felt shy to have a conversation with each other. Meanwhile, the waiter came with the menu.

 “Simiji, what do you want to have?” I said.

“Milk coffee.”

“Anything else?” 

“For now coffee only.” 

We ordered two cups of coffee. After ordering coffee, I said, “What do you do?” 

“I have completed MBA. Now, I am in search of a job. And what do you do?”

“I am working in Nabil Bank for one year.”

The environment was silent. The coffee arrived. We started drinking a cup of coffee and we started talking. Before we leave the café, I said, “Simiji, what will you say to your parents?”

She felt shy. With the shyness, she said, “Can we meet again? After meeting for a few days, I can know what to say.”

After this meeting, we started meeting frequently. We started liking each other. After two months of meeting, we got married. We had a beautiful married life. After three months, she got a job. Everything was running smoothly. But with time elapse, she changed. She started coming late. In the beginning, I thought she had work in the bank. More than that, she started spending too much. Furthermore, she started spending time on the Messenger.

I was fed up by convincing her. The more I love her, the more she hated me more. We had an argument on this topic. After a week of this argument, she didn’t return back home. I gave a call in her phone call but it was switched off. The next day, I went here bank where she was working and I was able to know about Simi. She didn’t attend the office for more than a week. I was also able to know that she eloped with her colleague. In the beginning, I was shocked to believe the truth but when she didn’t return back home, I believe the fact. I felt like I was lost and was not in the world. I loved her truly but she didn’t respect my love.  I felt like my love was weak. When she left me, I felt like I wanted to die. So, I purposely came in front of the vehicle and was inquired. After that, you saved me. I don’t know why you saved me. I wished you would have left me in my condition.

I was listening to Anurag’s story. I felt bad for Anurag. Everyone has their own life. At what time, what happens nobody knows. By breaking the silence, I said, “I saved you as a human being.”

The environment was silent again. I was observing Anurag. He was lost in his past life. I again said, “You can go after two weeks, I will recover more than two weeks.”

He didn’t prefer to say anything. He was silent. 

VII

After two weeks……

After lunch, he packed his clothes. I was looking at him through the door. I wished Anurag to stay with me. How can I say that I was in love with him? My eyes were filled with tears. I was emotionally attached to him. I felt heavy from my heart. I didn’t have a place to cry.

Meanwhile, Anurag saw me and said, “Sophiyaji, why are you standing over there? Please, come in.”

I entered the room without saying anything. He, then, said, “Now, I need to go. I must say thank you. I will never forget your help. Thank you very much.”

I remained silent. I watched him going. He didn’t prefer to look back. I was accepting him to look back. Neither had he given me his neither address nor a phone number. I didn’t prefer to ask either. I cried a lot. I felt guilty by not expressing my feelings. Now, it has been too late. I wasn’t able to forget nor did I get his love.