ONE SIDED LOVE II

I

For two days, I didn't log in Facebook nor checked emails and Viber. I took rest for two days. I slept for the whole day and didn’t prefer doing any work.

It was Tuesday, 11th September 2018. The clock showed a time of 8:30 am. I just woke up. I went to the kitchen and made coffee. I went into bed and opened my laptop. I logged on Facebook. I checked the news feed. Then, I stuck on Soniya’s one.  Something clicked in my mind. I came back to Nepal in search of my crazy love. I started making a list where she used to go. I didn’t know her friends but checked her friends who were close and made a list of her close friends.

After having lunch, I started visiting the places where Soniya used to visit. I did inquire about her but nobody knew about her. My first work failed but I didn’t lose my hope.

Then, I started sending a message to her phone. She didn’t reply nor did she respond to my calls. Her phone was switched off after two days. I even text messages on Facebook. There was no response. She deactivated Facebook later. What was wrong with her? Why was she not responding to my messages? I lost my hopes. Now, how can I meet her? I never believed in destiny or magic. I believed in myself. But this time, I didn’t trust myself. This time I lost my hope and faith.  I believed that I could get her but I lost my faith that I wouldn’t get her.

For almost a week, I didn’t prefer going out and didn’t prefer meeting any of my friends. I started drinking alcohol frequently. I don’t know why I was drinking too much. I know that I don’t get her but why was I after her. Why was I mad about her?

After a week, I was drinking hard drink and was stuck on Facebook. Meanwhile, I got a message from Kusum. Although I wasn’t interested to check the message, I checked her message.

“You have really betrayed me. For this, I will not forgive me. I have loved you so much. I wished you could have told me before our marriage. I could have understood you because I also knew the meaning of the love and let you free but you didn’t let me know. If you didn’t want to marry me, then why you did say yes and played with me. Why did you pretend that you loved me? Why?

After you left me, my prestige was damaged. You spoiled my reputation. I couldn’t show my face in front of my friends and family. When you left me, I tried to commit suicide but couldn’t.  I don’t know what stopped for committing suicide.

To be honest, I cannot hate you because I had loved you so much. I still love you. Neither I can forgive nor forget for what you had done. But I want you to be happy with your love are.”

After the message, I didn’t know how to react. I know that I used Kusum for my own purpose. I know that I did wrong but I am not feeling guilty. To get my love, I did wrong. I can do anything to get my love.

II

There was heavy rainfall. I was drinking a cup of coffee and was looking at the rainfall. In the meantime, something clicked me. I immediately logged in Facebook and searched Soniya’s friend. I found the college name.  I, then, l laughed at my foolishness. Why didn’t I search in her college before? Why didn’t this idea come before? I felt ashamed.

The next day, I went to Putalisadak, Universal College. I reached college at 11:30 am. I entered college. The administration was on the first floor. So, I reached near to the reception and said, “Excuse me, I am Sumit Ojha. I need your help.”

“Sure. How can I help you?”

“Actually, I need Soniya’s number. She was 10th batch of Journalism. I am trying to reach her but couldn’t. It’s an emergency.”

“Sorry, sir. We do not provide any information related to our student to an outsider.”

I convinced her that I am a writer and was writing the story. Finally, she was convinced and gave her phone number as well as the home address. The number was different than I had.

Before I left the place, I said, “Were you invited in her marriage ceremony?”

I didn’t know why I asked her this question. She said, “Yes I was but don’t you know that now they are separated.”

“What?” I was shocked.

III

I tried a lot to reach her but I had no confidence to call her. Something stopped me but later I started chasing her. After chasing her, I was able to know where she goes and what she does. While chasing her, I observed her. She looked anxious.  It might be because of divorce.

The next day, she was in the café of Baneshwor. I was there sitting in the corner watching her. After 10 minutes, I went to her table and said, “Hi. Can I sit on this table?”

Soniya was shocked as well as surprised. She agreed. We looked at each other. There was awkwardness. We met after a long period of time in different condition. I was looking at her. She was lost in her world. I broke the silence and said, “How are you doing?”

“Good.” She just said. Not more than that, she didn’t say anything. It seems she didn’t prefer to speak.

“And how is your husband?”

She gave me a look and remained silent. The environment again remained silent. Meanwhile, a waiter came and took our order.

Then, I said, “Sorry, if I ask you wrong question. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“That’s fine. We have parted.”

“If you don’t mind if you tell me why you guys parted?”

Her eyes were filled up with tears. After observing her, I said, “It is ok. If you don’t want to say, that’s fine. I don’t mind.”

“He had an extra-marital affair. He had a girlfriend. Before getting married, he already had an affair but he didn’t say anything. He seemed to be happy to get married to me. After we got married, we both were happy but slowly, he changed and I got to know about his affair.

I loved him so much but he betrayed me and left me. So, I divorced him. He could have had told me about his affair. I could have understood him.”

She wept. When she was crying, I wanted to console her but the waiter came with our order. She took tissue paper. After removing tears, she started drinking a cup of coffee. She was silent. I was observing her. She was disturbed.

IV

After this met up, I was with her most of the time. When she was with me, I felt that she was lost in the memories of the husband. She had loved him deeply and wasn’t able to forget him. On the one hand, she was lost in the world of her husband and on the other hand, I believed that one day, in her heart, my love will blossom.

We were at Bajeko Sekuwa, Sukhedara. I called her to meet me so, she easily agreed.

“So, why did you call me?”

“Actually, I want to say something.”

“Say what you want to say.”

“I want to marry you.”

She was looking at me. I too was looking at her. The environment was silent. Then, after a few minutes, she said, “what did you say just now?” She seemed angry.

“I want to marry you.”

“What did you say? Why are you saying like that? What made you say like that?”

“Because I love you. I thought you like me too.”

Soniya was observing me and wanted to see the reaction. I was nervous and said, “Sorry, if I hurt you but it’s the truth that I loved you and wanted to marry you.”

Soniya then smiled and said, “I was just testing you. You looked red. I too want to marry you.”

We both hugged. I was happy that I was getting my love. Finally, the day came for me that she said yes.

V

I was getting prepared for my wedding with Soniya. It was the day we are getting together. The date was 15th December 2018 and the time was 8:30 am and I need to reach the temple by 9:00 am. So, I rushed to the temple with my family but I didn’t know that this day could bring me a dark in my life.

I with my family reached the temple at 9:00 am. We didn’t see Soniya and with her families. In the beginning, I thought they are about to come with her families but didn’t arrive. I got panic. I rang in her mobile but her mobile was switched off. I didn’t have any other’s number of her families. I was depressed. We waited till 6:00 pm but she didn’t arrive and we returned back. I was embarrassed. I felt guilty. Now, I realized how Kusum felt. I felt sorry for her. I knew how it feels when I heart breaks.

The next day, I went to Soniya’s home but didn’t find her. He home was locked. I got lost and felt that I was about to die. Furthermore, for many days, I was locked in my room. I didn’t prefer to go out nor do I prefer meeting anyone. I didn’t know why she didn’t want to get married to me after saying yes. There should be a reason. I was curious and started to search her again but this time luck didn’t favor me. I didn’t find her this time.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Most of the listeners’ were listening to the FM and was curious about Sumit’s story. He, then, added, “After Soniya left me, I realized the meaning of love and difference between love and obsessed love. My love was obsessed. When she left, it took a long time to realize my mistakes that I have done with Kusum and asked forgiveness with Kusum. Honestly, I wanted to know why she left me. I still want to know the reason. If Soniya is listening to the radio, please contact me and let me know the reason. I don’t ask anything more.

And thank you listeners’ for listening to my story. Lots of love.“

Soniya was listening to the FM. She didn’t want to marry him as he was obsessed with her. She had never loved him. She, on the other hand, Kusum was her best friend since childhood. 

Kusum had shared what had happened in Thailand. Soniya gave punishment to Sumit by not getting married to him. Moreover, everything was planned by Soniya. She knew Sumit shall search and made a plan with her college receptionist to say about her divorce. Actually, he was not following her; she was following him and made a story about her husband’s extramarital love.

He will never know for what reason why she left him. He will live his life with the curious. She will never meet him as she is flying to Thailand. Whatever the person does, it repeats to the person again. It had happened to Sumit.