DANGEROUS LOVE

It has been two months we were been kept in ICU but there was no sign of improvement. Police was enquiringly about us and our condition.

I

Two years ago.....

Today is the first day of the college. Although there was excitement for the new life in the college but I was feeling very lazy to go college but I went to the college.

For the two months, I was feeling very bore because there were less students and I didn’t find any friend to talk. But after two months, I met Sujana. From the beginning, she came to the college; I started talking to her because she was damn beautiful which made me start talking with her. Moreover, I fell in love with her at first sight.

We became good friends and I became very much attachment with her and started sharing everything with her.

Slowly and slowly, I began to like her. Whenever, I used to see her, I used to fell overexcited. The most beautiful part of her is the smile. Her smile makes everyone fall in love with her.

I tried a lot to propose her but couldn’t. But this time, I planned to do so. As I was planning to call her, she gave a call and said, “I want to tell u something and wants to meet u. I will show the surprise.”

When she said this, I was more excited and we met in the cafe. She was with her friend. At first, we didn’t speak but I said, “Why did you call me? You told me, you want to tell something.”

“First you start,” she said.

But I convinced her to start first. So, she started. After few minutes, she said, “I am in Love.” We both felt shy. She added more, “Meet my boyfriend, Amit.”  

I was shocked and surprised. She added more, “We met three years ago in workshop. Since then, we are together.”

I was silent for the few minutes and couldn’t tell anything. I had no words for the expression. She said, “Hey, what happen? Why are so silent? Aren’t you happy? Didn’t you like my surprise? By the way, you were supposed to tell me something.”

“See, I forgot after seeing your happiness. I forgot and when I will remember, I will tell you.” By telling this, I went from there and couldn’t tell about my feeling.

II

For many days, I didn’t go to college and I was not in touch with any friends not even with Sujana. I switched off my mobile and went away from everything. I cried a lot and I felt how I could tell her the truth. 

If I tell her the truth then she will not speak with me. I have to remain silent.

So, after one month I went to the college. Sujana was very happy to see me and I too was happy. After seeing me, she said, “Where you for so long? I called you many times but your mobile was switched off. Why did you switch off the phone and didn’t college?” But I have no words to tell her that why didn’t I come to the college.

I didn’t t ell anything and went. I really don’t know how to react in this Whenever, I used to see them, I felt jealous but couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t tell her truth.

Finally, I planned her to tell the truth. So, we met in Dream Garden. At first, we were silent. I was nervous and there was lots of hesitation. So, finally with the courage, I began, “Sujana, I am really sorry to be rude with you. I really don’t want to be rude but I couldn’t handle.”

“Say straightly, what you want to tell. Why are you telling in another way?”

She slapped me and went without telling anything after knowing the truth.

III

We stopped talking after we met in Dream Garden. I tried a lot to convince her but she didn’t speak with me and went.

I couldn’t tolerate anymore. I felt why I told her the truth. I felt guilty for telling the truth. Every night, I couldn’t sleep. I felt if she had understood me.

Every day, I felt angry and my angry had no limits. Whenever, she used to see me, she pretended that she hadn’t seen me. She used to hang up with her friends and boyfriend. This made me more jealous and angry. How much I could bear.

She knew how much I am getting angry and till now she hasn’t spoken with me. I explained her a lot and had asked for forgiven but she never responded me for me. This is really killing me.

IV

The college life was over and till she was upset. And there was the programme of get together. We all were present. Both Sujana and Amit were too present. Everyone was teasing both Sujana and Amit. She wasn’t looking at me but mu eyes kept looking at her. She was totally ignoring me. All were discussing what they shall do after graduation.

When friends were discussing, there I knew Sujana and Amit were supposed to get married. There was full of tears in my eyes. I shouldn’t have been shocked but I became shocked.

I left the place and went outside. This was the first time, I cried so badly and this was the first time, I was so drunk that no one could handle me.  

V

Today is the engagement of Sujana and Amit. I was not called but I planned to go. I was drunk on this day.

Both were sitting inside the room and chatting. By hiding I went inside the room. Both were shocked especially Sujana. “What are you doing here? I didn’t invite you in my engagement? Are you drunk?”

“Sit and relax. I didn’t come here to hurt you here. Till now you haven’t forgiven me. Did I do anything wrong?”

“What are you guys talking about?” Amit said.

“Oh! It means Sujana hasn’t told anything to you till now. She has hidden the truth. WOW. I heard true lovers never hide anything from each other. They tell each and everything and share every matter but it doesn’t implement here. How could this happen in between you guys?”

“Sujana, should I tell the truth or you will tell the truth.”

“What kind of truth?” said Amit.

She was about to speak but I interrupt her and start telling the truth. “You know Amit, Sujana and I were very good friends. We used to share each and everything. But she didn’t tell anything about you and I thought she was single. Slowly and slowly I gave my heart to her and became to fall in love with her."  

Amit was shocked and he was about to tell something I interpret him and said, “Please Amit. Don’t interrupt. I am speaking. Let me finish first then it’s your turn.”

“Before I could express my feeling towards her, she gave me the surprise package that is you, Amit. I couldn’t handle myself that’s why I didn’t come to college. I was so upset that I wanted to kill you but couldn’t because I used to think to kill you I see the beautiful face of Sujana. ”

“But finally I planned Sujana to tell her the truth. So did I. After telling her the truth that I am lesbian and I loved her, she didn’t respond. She slapped me and went without speaking. If she had rejected my love, I couldn’t mind but she rejected my friendship. She slapped me that killed me a lot. But what killed me most was the slap. Behind that, whenever I used to see you guys, my angry was crossing the limits. It made me feel for you Amit, she slapped me.”

“On the get together, I wanted to take the revenge wit h Sujana. She was alone outside and so I went outside but you came. I couldn’t do anything. This made me crazier.”

There was silence for the moment. Sujana sat on the sofa with full of tears and said, “The situation was like that. Neither I understood nor did you understand me. But it’s my fault. I could have talked with you.”

Amit wanted to convince me but I pushed him and said, “Nobody understands me and loves me. Everyone hates me. Even you, Sujana, hate me a lot, to whom I loved a lot in this world than anything else.”

“But I don’t love you. I love Amit. You have to accept it. Why didn’t you accept the reality?”

Both came near to me and I pushed Amit. He felt into window glass and inquired. Sujana was shocked and said, “What did you do? Are you mad?”

“Yes, I am mad.”

While quarrelling, she took the knife and hit in my stomach. She ran from there and i followed in that condition. She was about to go near to Amit. But I pulled the carpet and she felt from her and fell in the window glass.

VI

After three months, we were recovered but not totally we were recovered and still we were in the hospital.

I told everything to the police. After few days, I was taken by the police from hospital. I was ashamed that I didn’t meet Sujana. I just looked and went. I didn’t speak with her due to shame. For that incident, neither she can forgive nor I can forgive myself.

Before I went, I gave the letter to the nurse for the Sujana.

Dear Sujana,

                 I am really sorry. I couldn’t have done so badly to you and Amit. I was really bad at that time. You didn’t speak with me for so many days that it killed me so badly and made me angry.  But what made me mad was your slap.  You shouldn’t have slapped, I thought. You could have understood me. But I could handle myself. If I had handled myself then this couldn’t be happen. You have said right that I should have lived in reality and moved ahead. You have your life and I have mine.

I don’t ask for forgiveness because I don’t deserve that to. But do speak with me. I feel embarrass. Lastly, I will say that be happy whenever you go. Forget this incident. Think it was a night mare which came and went. Think it was a bad dream.

Most important thing is that I will be back. Don’t forget me.

                                                                                                                                       
                                                                                                      Bye until we meet.