MISTAKES OF MY LIFE

It was fine morning Saturday. The time showed 8:00 am. As usual, I made a cup of coffee and went in the balcony. I loved the balcony as my ideas come from balcony. After two success novel, I was thinking to write another novel. I wanted to write different story this time as my two novels were romantic.

After drinking a cup of coffee, I started checking mails. While checking mails, I found one of the mails different. The subject captured my attention. The subject was “The Mistakes of My Life.”

When I checked email, there was an attachment too. I sat on the sofa and started reading mail. Email mentioned that:-

Dear Writer,

 Greetings from Anmol!

           Namaste. I am Anmol Dahal. How are you writer? Hope you are good and preparing for the next novel. I am your biggest fan. I read your both novels and those novels were good to read. I loved both of your books.

I have attached one document. The document is my own story. Sharing you the story is the right way. On the other words, it is the best way to feel relief by sharing my story. It is the one of the medium to give justice to the people to whom I have hurt. Every day I feel guilty and didn’t get right way to express my story. So, I thought you would understand.

After you read the story, I want to meet you. I want to share my story. I don’t want to meet you as a writer but as a friend I want to meet. I don’t want to impose you to publish my story. It depends on you to publish or not. I shared this story as I didn’t get any one to share my story.

Mr. Writer, I hope you don’t mind. I want you to read the story and decide to meet me or not. I am waiting for your response.

                                                                                      Thank You

                                                                                          Your’s Reader

                                                                                         Anmol Dahal

After the mail, I was interested to read the story. The words like guilty, relief and justice made me read the story. I have read so many stories by many fans and readers but this email made me think to read the story. After having breakfast, I started reading story.

I

I, Nabin and Smrik were at the wedding party. We were best friends since plus two. We studied BBA together from Apex College. Among three of us, I was flirt and not serious type of person. When I do serious talk, nobody believed me because of my joking nature. I never had serious relationship with any girls. On the other hand, Nabin and Smirk was serious person. More than Nabin, Smrik was serious person. He was the topper of the college and university too. He works in Nabil Bank as a Human Resource. He never liked me because of me. Due to me, his relationship was broken with his girlfriend. I started having a relationship. But later, she knew about me and left me but she never went back to Smirk too.

Moreover, he was doing MBA. Nabin was meditator of us. He sometimes talko f me and sometimes Smrik.

The party was of Smrik’s cousin and he has invited us. We were at Anmol Party Palace. Fortunately, the party palace name was also with my name. and Nabin was teasing with the same reason. 

It was around 7:30 pm., I was with Nabin. We both were laughing and drinking. Meanwhile, I heard beautiful voice. I turned back. My eyes were stuck on her only. She was beautiful and was wearing orange sari with matching earnings and lipstick. She was tall and was with high heels. She was speaking with me but I wasn’t concentrating what she was telling.

“Hello, Hello,” she was saying. Meanwhile, Nabin slapped me and I came in the reality.

“Can I know where Smrik is?”

“He might be somewhere else.”

“Hi…..”When I said hi, she left the place. I followed her and met Smrik.

“Smrik, I was searching you.”

“Even, I was searching you,” I said.

“Anmol, I will talk with you later.” Both went from there.

When I was with Nabin, I was looking at both Smrik and girl. When she left the place, I went towards Smrik.

“WOW, Smrik. You have got such a beautiful girlfriend. Congrats. What’s her name?”

Smrik slapped me. “Besides, flirting and girls, don’t you have any work? You think the same to others as you are. Fool.”

I didn’t say anything nor did he say anything further. This was the main reason, he never liked me.

II

After few days, I knew Smrik and girl were siblings. That’s why he was getting angry with me. I wanted to meet her. I wanted to flirt with her and take a risk.

I was able to know that she was studying MBA in White House College. She was in 1^st Semester. After knowing this, I joined MBA. I pretended to be a good guy which I wasn’t.

It was the first day for me in the college. I was curious to meet her. It was 6:00 am. The class starts 6:30 am. Due to curiosity, I reached earlier.

Finally, my wait was over. She entered the class. She looked so different in the jeans. I was flattered. She was looking for the seat and she saw me. She gave me amazed look. She came near to me and said, “Did I see you somewhere else?”

I wanted to tell a lie but couldn’t. “Yes, we have met before. We met in Anmol Party Palace.”

“Oh, yes. That’s why I felt I have seen you before.”

She didn’t argue and sat nearby me.”

“Hi. My name is Anmol Dahal.”

“Hi. I am Smrika Pokhrel.”

We both remained silent. While I was about to start conversation again, Teacher came in the class. After two lectures, there was a break. We both went inside canteen. We both ordered non-veg mo:mo.

“Actually, I want to be your friend.”

“Why?”

“I don’t have any reason.”

“No reason and you want to be my friend.”

 I changed his facial expression. Our mo:mo arrived. I didn’t want to have mo:mo. I felt that she will not be friend of mine. She was observing me smiling.

After having two pieces of mo:mo, she said, “I will be your friend but not now. We should know each other well. Without knowing each other, how can I be your friend?”

Although, I nodded my head, I didn’t agree with her. I was upset but didn’t show it to her.

III

“What the hell are you doing with Smrika? If Smrik knows about it, he will kill you.”

“I am time passing with her. You know my nature. I am not interested on her. Who cares about Smrik?” We both were at Bar and Restaurant drinking alcohol.

“Still, be careful with Smrik. You know his anger. You even know he is serious and introvert and doesn’t like your flirting character. One day, this character will destroy you.”

“Who cares?”

I never took his words seriously. I never wanted to change my character. I wanted to enjoy my life. I just don’t care about the world and what they say.

First semester was over. During the first semester, we became good friends. We used to share each and everything with each other. She was the one who used to guide me in each and every subject. To tell the truth, I just wanted to have a physical relationship with her, not more than that.

IV

I was talking with Smrika after the lecture. Meanwhile, Smrik came near to me. He dashed me back and I fell down.

“How dare you talk with my sister?”

I got up and was trying to talk with him but he wasn’t listening me. Whenever, I went near, he was the one who was pushing me.

“Look, Smrika and listen to me. He is not a nice person. Get away from him. Get lost, Anmol. Smrika, let’s go home.” He pulled her and I wasn’t able to speak anything. Until and unless Smrik is alive, I won’t be able to fulfill my dream. On the other hand, I was amazed who told about me and Smrika.

When Smrik and Smrika reached home, Smrik said, “From onwards, please don’t dare to speak and go nearby that playboy Anmol. He is just an idiot guy.” He was angry with her.

“Look brother, I am just a friend of him. More than that, I don’t have any relationship with him. We just have a conversation as a friend.  Trust me, brother. I have already told him that until and unless I know him, I cannot be good friend of him.”

“Still, I don’t like him. He is such a bloody flirt. I want you to maintain a distinct. Did you mark my words? If I found something fishy, I don’t leave both of you.”

V

“Smrika, can we meet?”

“Sorry Anmol. We cannot meet. If my brother knows about our meeting, he will kill both of us.”

"Please, Smrika. For our friendship, come to meet me. Any cost you have to come to meet me. I will be waiting for you at Tabela Restaurant, Naxal at 5pm.” I disconnected the phone.

I was waiting for her. It was already 6:30 pm. She didn’t arrive. I was accepting she could come to meet me but she didn’t. I waited her for almost three hours. I was checking my mobile if she had send me any messages. There were lots of calls given to her but she wasn’t responding me. Finally, I returned back home.

After one week, holiday, the second semester was started. It was 1^st day of the semester. I was talking with my friends. At the second lecture, she arrived. I was furious with her. She secretly gave a letter to me and sat on her seat. She didn’t look at me and was focus on the teacher.

I was curious and started reading letter. The letter mentioned that:-

I am really sorry that I didn’t come to meet. I have already told you that I couldn’t come. My brother doesn’t like me talking with you and he doesn’t like you. He doesn’t like our friendship. For our friendship, I didn’t come to meet you.

I can understand that you are angry with me. But you should also understand my problem too. Anmol, honestly, I have starting liking you. I don’t know what kind of person you. As my brother had said that you are a flirt and a playboy, I don’t know about it. But as we are in same batch, you haven’t hurt me and done any work that have hurt me. I believe in change and every person needs a time to change. I think you haven’t got that person who can change. I will not say that I will change you totally but my love and friendship might change you in certain way.

Forgive me, for not coming yesterday. Hope you will understand me.

                                                                                      Yours Smrika

I was cool down. I was happy that she had started liking me. Now, my plan was success. She looked at me. I smiled her and she too smiled. I showed her thumbs up.

VI

We used to meet every day by hiding.  We had a physical relationship but we never caught. But this could cause me badly I didn’t know.

It was her birthday; we were in Chapali Height in unknown flat. We were drunk and watching beautiful stars and beautiful night.

“I love this night and stars,” Smrika said.

“You don’t love me.” I smiled.

“I don’t.” We both smiled and laughed.

I came closer to her. “I love you.”

“Me too.”

We came closer and I started playing with her and her body. We were in the romantic mood. When we were having in physical relationship, we heard the somebody coming near to us. And when we turned back, the person was not other than Smrika’s brother Smrik. We rushed to wear our clothes and were shocked. We got up.

“You here?”

He was angry. His facial expression showed.

He came near to me and slapped me desperately. He looked at Smrika and said, “I have told you not to be close with him but still you didn’t listen. He only wanted to enjoy with you and after fulfilling his dream, he goes his way.”

“He is a changed person, brother. Everyone needs a time to change. He has changed.”

“No, he hasn’t changed.”

He showed the video of me and Nabin talking about her. It was of few days only. The video was of me using her and leaving her. When she saw the video, she said, “You cheat. How do you do to me? Is this true?”

I was stunned myself when I saw the video. I couldn’t give her response. Later, I said, “Yes, it’s the truth. I used you. I don’t love you. I don’t even consider you as a friend.”

When she heard the truth, she slapped me. “You are such a bastard. You lied to me that you are a change. I didn’t even believe my brother who knew you better. I want to leave you.”

How could Nabin do this? He betrayed his own friend. I wanted to kill both of my friends. Meanwhile, Smrik came near to me and said, “I won’t leave you Anmol. First, you played with my girlfriend and now with my sister.”

We both started arguing with each other. While arguing, Smrika came to separate us both couldn’t. I dashed her. We again started arguing. While arguing he fell from the terrace and said, “Smrik.” And she came near to me. She started arguing with me. More than that, I started arguing with her. More than that, I raped her and ran away from the place.

After Chapali Height, I reached to Nabin’s house. I ran the door bell and he open the door. He was asleep. When he saw me, he said, “You, here in this time.”

I slapped him and said, “You told everything to Smrik about me and Smrika. You clicked our videos and shared it with Smrik. How could you do this to me?  You are a betrayal friend.”

He remained silent. He had no mood to argue with me. On the other hand, he was feeling nervous. From the facial expression, I was able to know that he has told everything to Smrik.

VII

“Now, I knew what kind of person you are?” Smrika said.

We met on the next day. It was the evening time. Police were questioning the family about the incident. As Smrika was the eye witness, they were too questioning her but she was scared and was not in the condition to speak.

 “You are a playboy. You used me. You never loved me. You wanted to take revenge with my brother and you killed him. How could you do this to me? I thought you were changed person. I didn’t believe those persons who said negative about you. Even I didn’t believe Nabin and Smrik who knew you.”

She added, “Till now, I haven’t said anything to police. Now, it’s time to confess everything to police. You have to be punished.”

I was petrified. Firstly, I was fuming with Nabin and secondly, she was going to confess everything. I was trapped. I went near to near. She pushed me back. Again, I went near to her. I was tempted.

“If you say anything to police, I will not leave you. Although, I used you, you were interested on me. We had a physical relationship. What will you say about it?”

I showed her the videos of ours. She was shocked. “I will show it to the police and what will you do and say about it?”

She was shocked and said, “When did you capture the video? Do whatever you want. I don’t care. Do you think I am afraid of you? No. I will let the world know about you.”

I slapped her and argued with her. I was telling her not to go to police station and she didn’t agree with her. She was about to live the flat and I pulled her. I again raped her and told her not to mention about it.

The next day, she maintained that Smrik died of accident and I was saved. From this moment, we never spoke neither with Nabin.

VIII

“You are culprit. You deserve to be punished. You are a murderer and rapist. You don’t deserve anyone’s love and friendship. I won’t want you to be near to be and your memory. So, I am leaving this world.”

She jumped from the terrace. I tried to save her but couldn’t. “Smrika,” I shouted and suddenly I woke up. This dream was killing me day by day. It has been almost six months this dream was following me.I couldn’t get out form the reality.

To be honest, I was sorry for what I have done. I lost two of my friends. Not only that, I lost the love, Smrika. I used her but after losing her I had feeling for love. I didn’t realize the love for her. But what did I do with her?

So, I searched her for the forgiveness. I didn’t find her. My crime made me guilty. If my friends and love hadn’t left me, I couldn’t have known the importance of theirs. Losing friend and love was mistake of my life. 

*------------------------------------------------*---------------------------------------*----------

Dear Writer,

        I want to meet you and help me to search me and find my friends. I want to ask forgiveness. I will die if don’t get forgiveness from them. I will further provide you my address and phone number. Please meet me.

                                                             Your’s Reader

                                                            Anmol Dahal

I was curious to meet him and wanted to meet him and know further story. So, I made a plan to meet him. Everyone does a mistake and needs an opportunity to be forgiveness. So, I wanted to know another side of the story. So, I made a plan to search Nabin and Smrika.