NUJEENA [FEMALE VERSION]

1

It was Friday and the time was 9:00 pm. The song ‘Dilbar Dilbar’ was been played. I and my friends were dancing to this song. People were throwing money on us. Meanwhile, my eyes caught in one of the persons. He had worn a black t-shirt with blue pant. He was with his friend.  In this prostitute area, many people do come but he was the one with whom I got good vibes immediately. In my lifetime, I didn’t look any person like that.

He was looking here and there. Meanwhile, our eyes got caught. My heart started beating faster. He was focused on me. For a few seconds, I was feeling awkward. I was looking at him. He too was looking at me. After a few hours, someone came near to him. He might be his friend and with his friend, h let the place. Before he left the place, he looked at me. He didn’t want to go back. Meanwhile, I was looking at him till the door. After this day, she started visiting the place every week, and our eyes used to talk.

2

After one month……

                                    During the one month, we haven’t spoken and didn’t know each other’s names. He was sitting on the chair and was looking at me as well as my dance. Meanwhile, Sajana went near to him. I don’t know what they were talking about but I was observing him and for the moment, I felt jealous.

After one hour, I was in my small room. I was removing the make-up and I heard the knock on my door. I got up from the chair and went to open the door. When I opened the door, I saw him and was amazed to see him.

 “Can I come in?”

“Ok.”  I didn’t know why I said yes.

He sat on the sofa and I was on the chair. I was anxious and was looking here and around. The environment was silent. He was continuously focused on me. This made me more nervous.

By breaking the silence, he said, “Will you go out with me, Nujeenaji?”

“How did you know my name?”

“We know the name of the person we love.”

The environment was again silent. I didn’t have any words to say and I was looking around. Meanwhile, he said, “You didn’t respond to my question.”

“Which question?”

“Can you love to go out with me tomorrow?”

“Why should I go with the strange?”

“Besides this world, you will be able to see other beautiful places and the world. I want to show you that beautiful world. I have taken permission from your boss. I will come tomorrow at 6:00 pm. I hope you will be ready.”

He got up and left the place. I was looking at me.

3

We both were at the cafe. I was uncomfortable. Although I felt awkward, I came with me to the café. He gave smiled at her when I looked at him. Meanwhile, the waiter came to our table and said, “Sir, what could you like to have?”

“I want to have a milk coffee, one plate chicken mo: mo. Nujeena, what do you prefer to have?”

“As you wish.” So he ordered two milk coffee and two plates of chicken mo: mo.  We thanked him and he left the place. When he left the place, Sanjog said, “Actually, I want to say something to you.”

“Please, tell me,” I said.

“I am in love with you and I want to marry you.”

“What?” I was amazed.

“Yes, I want to marry you. I fell in love with you at the first sight. There were many girls but you were the special one. After seeing you, I felt you are the one. I want to fill my life with the colour of love.”

Again, the environment was silent. We were looking at each other beside each other’s names. How can I marry you without knowing you? Moreover, you know my profession, and do you think that your family and society will accept me as your wife?”

 “I don’t know about your past life. I only want you. Besides this, slowly and steadily we will know about each other. First of all, let me give you a brief introduction. I am Sanjay Shakya and I run a shop of alcohol and clothes at Durbar Marg. My parents died a few years back in a road accident. “

“I don’t know your nature. We have only seen each other but haven’t spent time.”

“OK. Let’s meet and take your decision after that.”

“My boss won’t allow me to meet every day.”

“I need to rush now.”

We finished our coffee and mo: mo and left the place.

She agreed and our mo: mo arrived. After having those mo: mo, we let the café. I gave a lift to her and went back to my home.

4

“Today, Sanjog proposed me for the marriage, “I said to Sajana.

“Then what was your response?” Sajana said.

“I haven’t given any response to him.”

“Why didn't you give any response. If I were you, I could have said yes to his proposal. He is so handsome and he looks like a film hero. I could have left this place and could have settled down with him. So please say yes to his marriage proposal.”

“I also love him but I am scared of society. This society won’t accept us.” My expression was changed.

Sajana came near to me and said, “Everyone has a right to live their life. In the beginning, society doesn’t accept but with time, they will forget it.  Moreover, Sanjog is a nice person. You are lucky and fortunate to get a person like him. You will have a beautiful life so yes to his marriage proposal.”

I started thinking about it. More than the excitement, I was scared of losing him. While thinking, I was lost in the past.

5

My mother died when I was small. I have four sisters and two brothers. We had a financial crisis and we didn’t have sufficient for the food. After my mother died, my father started drinking more alcohol and used to beat us. More than drinking, he didn’t have any work.

One day, my life was changed drastically. Due to my father, my life was changed. It was already night. My siblings were sleeping. I was awake and was waiting for my father. Meanwhile, after a few hours, my father arrived with the stranger. The stranger looked strange and I was scared. Both of them were talking in their room and I could hear them. After half an hour, a stranger came into my room. He came near to me. Before I could shout, he closed my mouth and he raped me. I tried a lot to save myself but couldn’t. I shared with this to my dad and he said not to share with anyone. My father raped me many times. Stranger often came home and he had sexually harassed me a lot. My father brought me to this place as there was no one to earn money. In the beginning, I tried a lot to escape from the place but I was caught. I was feeling awkward. Whoever used to touch, I felt uncomfortable. I used to cry by hiding. Nobody could see the tears and my pain. Moreover, nobody was there to listen to me. Working at this place was my limitation. For the sake of my siblings, I was forced to work here. If my mother was alive, she could understand and could hug me in my pain. Most of the time, I had a wish that if my father wasn’t alive, my life could have been an indifferent phase.

I had seen lots of people here in this prostitute but never saw a person like Sanjog. When I saw him, I felt like he is the one who will take me away from the hell. When he proposed to me for the marriage, I was overwhelmed. At the same time, I am scared of losing him because of society.

My eyes were filled with tears by remembering the past and Sanjog. I was thinking of the response. If I say no to him, he will be hurt. Questions were running in my mind. I haven’t known him that much. If he used me like other men, what should I do?

6

After a week……..

                                The time was 8:00 pm and Sanjog was in Thamel. I was in her duty and he was waiting for the work completed. After an hour, I was in the room and he followed me. She knocked on the door and I opened the door. I gave a sign to come in the room. I sat on the sofa and she was in the chair.

Without wasting his time, she said, “So, what’s my response?”

The environment was filled with silence. He was observing me. By breaking the silence, he said, “If you don’t respond, then that’s fine. I think I need to leave.” His expression was changed. He was feeling bad. When he reached near to the door and I got up and said, “I am ready to marry you.”

He turned back with a happy face. With a happy mood, he said, “Today, I am very happy. You gave me all the happiness.” And we both hugged each other.

7

We met for the month as per my wish. I left the job. Sajana knew that Sanjog and I were getting married and she was happy for me. She, then, said, “Are you happy with Sanjog?”

I smiled and said, “I am happy. In the beginning, I felt what to do. I was scared. But after meeting with him for one month, I was able to know about him. He has given me positive vibes and makes me comfortable. I get lost in his world. I just want to be with him most of the time and don’t want to leave him.”

“I am happy for you.” She said and we both hugged each other.

After dating for a month, we decided to get married. It was July 6, 2016. There was no participation of any family members of mine and his. More than him, I was glad. My face showed that I was a pleased person to get married and lucky to get married to him.

8

After the week, he packed his clothes. When I was packing my clothes, I was dispirited. I was watching him from the door and my eyes were full of tears. When he saw me, he came near to me and said, “Please, don’t cry. I will come after two weeks. I have to go to London because of the business. When I will come back, we will go on a honeymoon. After this trip, I will give you more time for you. I promise.”

“How will I stay alone for two weeks without you?”

“I will be calling you. Don’t worry.”

We both hugged each other and he promised me that he will return and will give time to me and he left the home.

9

I was home alone. I hadn’t gone out since I got married. Sanjog hadn’t arrived back in Nepal. Furthermore, he hadn’t called me or nor he receives my call. So, I went to Thamel to meet my friends. When I reached Thamel, Sajana was happy to see me and took me to her room. When we reached her room, she said, “After so many months, we met.”

“Yes.”

“I am happy to see you.” She said.

“Same here.”

“Are you happy with Sanjog?”

“Yes.” My expression was changed.

“What happened? Why did you change your face?”

“It has been four months since he hasn’t come back from London. Neither he calls me nor he receives my call.”

“Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.” I agreed with her. We were smiling, laughing, and we're talking about the past. Meanwhile, there was a police rate. Every girl was taken to the police station including me. When we reached the police station, everyone requested the police to leave me.

“Please, leave Nujeena. She has left the job. Moreover, she is happily married now. Her husband is in London.”

“How can I believe it?” Inspector Aditya said.

“I have his number. You can call him.” I gave the number and Inspector Aditya dialed the number.

“Hello.” Inspector Aditya said.

“Hello,” Sanjog said.

“Is this Sanjog?”

“Yes, who is this speaking?”

“Inspector Aditya.  Do you know Nujeena?”

“Nujeena ? Who is this Nujeena?”

“Your wife?”

“I am not married.”

Then, the phone was disconnected. I was shocked and my eyes were filled with tears. I was speechless. Meanwhile, Inspector Aditya said, “You wanted to cheat me. Do you have any shreds of evidence?”

I was not preferring to speak. My friends were convincing Inspector Aditya to leave me and after a few hours, I left the police station. Although I was at home, I didn’t prefer to stay at the home. I was lost in his memory. His love was fake. Moreover, his promise was a forgery. Everything of his falsifies.

10

After the incident at the police station, he had stopped receiving my calls. I didn’t know where he was staying in London. I was impatient. Moreover, I didn’t know any work besides prostitute. Neither I have formal education nor I have the work of experience. The thought of suicide was in my mind.

My mind was occupied with his memories. My heart, on the other hand, was restless. My mind was not able to concentrate. Furthermore, I started suffering from depression slowly. I felt like my life was useless. First of all, my mom left me and now Sanjog left me. Due to my father, I suffered a lot and now because of Sanjog.

I had pain in my heart and there was no one with whom I could share my pain. Lastly, I choose suicide. I was frustrated with my life. I had lost hope from love and my life. The beautiful world that I saw from through the eyes of Sanjog has vanished.