MISTAKES OF MY LIFE II



“Hello. Am I talking to Anmol?”
“Yes. Who is this?”
“Your favorite writer.”
“Where are you writer?”
“I am at Tribhuwan University. I am waiting for you.”
“OK. I will be there by 10 minutes.”

It was Saturday. The time was 12:30 pm. We were supposed to meet by 12:00 noon. I was waiting for him. I am the person who is impatient and doesn’t love to wait for the people. But I was waiting for Anmol. I was curious and had lots of questions to be answered.

I was also curious to know where Nabin and Smrika gone are. Have they left the country or in the country? Did Anmol search only in Kathmandu or outside too? How are they living their life? Will they forgive Anmol or not? If I was in place of Smrika, I could forgive Anmol because of love but as human being, I could not forget the crime done by him.

While I was looking here and there, a young tall and thin guy came near to me and said, “Hi. Are you the writer?”
“Yes. Anmol?”

He sat near to me and we both remained silent. We were sitting outside in the green and taking sun bath as the season was winter.
“Cigarette?” He said.
“Huh?”
“Cigarette?”
“Sorry, I don’t smoke.”
“If I smoke, will you mind?”
“No.”
“Thanks.”

He took out the perfect of cigarette and took one from the pocket and he started smoking. I, then, started a conversation.

“So, how can I help you?”
“I want to find Nabin and Smrika.”
“Why did you so?”
“I was in aggressive mood at that time.” I could see tears in his eyes.
“I didn’t know what to do. I was not like that. Although, I was playboy, I never raped anyone.” 

He continued his story. “When she was around with me, I didn’t know her importance but when she left me, I knew her importance and her love. Every day, I felt guilty for what I have done. I searched both of my friends but don’t know where they have gone.   Their mobiles were switched off. They are not responding my email. I am dying to meet them.”

He started crying and I started consoling him. “Please, don’t cry. Every problem has a solution. We will come out with the solution.” I hugged him.

“Will you provide me the solution me their email address of Nabin and Smrika?”

He nodded and provided me the email address of Smrika and Nabin. We chatted for few hours and we aparted.

After I reached home, I immediately open my email. I started composing email to both Nabin and Smrika. Instead of cc, I emailed separately but with same message.

 Dear Smrika,
Greetings!
Namaste, I am Rajesh Shrestha, a writer of two novels:  Love Story and Love Never Dies.

I got your email address from Anmol Dahal who was your classmate in White House. We have met and had told yours and his story and I can see guilt in his eyes. He is seeking forgiveness. More than him, I want to meet you. I want to know your side story. You can contact me in this number: 9803065455.

Thank You. Hope to see you soon. I accept you will meet and give my response.
Regards,
Rajesh Shrestha
Writer
9803065455

For almost three weeks, I didn’t receive any respond from Nabin and Smrika. I was curious to know more about them. He often asks me whether they responded me or not.  After three weeks, I got response from Smrika.
Dear Writer,
                  Thank You for your email. I don’t know what Anmol had story. Without knowing his side, I cannot tell anything.  More than that, I don’t think he is guilty and sorry for what he had done. I don‘t want to forgive him. Please, don’t search me. I am happy with my life. I don’t want to remember my post. It’s my bad dream and nightmare. Hope you will understand.  
                                                                                 Thank You
                                                                                         Smrika Shrestha

After reading an email, I somehow was hopeless. But I wanted to give a try again. So, I again send her an email.

Dear Smrika,
                    Thank you for your response. I can understand how you feel about your past.  You cannot forget the past and cannot forgive him. But I want to know your side story. I won’t want to decide who is wrong and right. I just want to know both side stories. I am sending you an attachment of yours story and Anmol’s story. Please go through it. Hope to see the positive response.
                                                                                    Thank You
                                                                                          Rajesh Shrestha
 After few days she responded my email.
Dear Rajesh Jee,
                      Thank You for sharing story. I want to meet you. I am not in Nepal. I am in Canada, Toronto. I am sending you my phone number: +1701265801. When you arrive at Canada, please give me a call.
                                                                                      Thank You
                                                                                            Smrika Shrestha

I was happy that she responded. Although, she responded, I was dilemma. I was amazed why Nabin was not responding my email. Where is Nabin? I had faith Nabin will response one day. Furthermore, I called to Anmol.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“Good News for you.”
“Smrika and Nabin responded you? Where are they?”
“I knew because besides Smrika and Nabin, I haven’t talked about other people with you. “
“Nabin haven’t responded yet but Smrika responded. She is in Canada. “
“What is she doing there?”
“We need to find out.”
“Then, let’s go.”
“Wait. Listen to me first. We both are going after two days.”
“Why after two days? Why not today and tomorrow?”
“Have passion.”

After two days, Anmol and I met on at Airport. I have warned Anmol not to meet me and Smrika for few days because I have to know the reaction of Smrika and her side story. After knowing the story, he will meet Smrika. Anmol was upset what I told to him. Although, he was not convinced, he agreed with me.

After 29 hours, 15 minutes, we reached Canada. I had sent her an email about my arrival in Canada. I haven’t mention about Anmol otherwise, she could react badly.

It was 15th February, 2015, Sunday. I was waiting for her in Café named Tim Horton’s for 15 minutes and finally saw her coming. I was in the center of the table. Anmol had given her photographs so I recognized her. 

She had worn simple dress with black pant with red t-shirt.  She was looking here and there. She was searching me. I showed her my hand and she finally saw me. She came towards me. I pulled chair for her and she thanked me for that.

“Do you want to have something?”
“Black coffee.”
I ordered two cup of black coffee.  “So, you read the story?”
“Yes.” She felt uncomfortable.

I knew she was feeling uncomfortable. Her eyes were telling.  Meanwhile, two cup of black coffee arrived. After one sip of coffee, she said, “After he raped me and killed my brother, it was difficult to sit in Nepal. I was lost and didn’t prefer staying at home. My life was hell.”
“After that, you and Nabin were lost. Why didn’t you complain to police?”

She started sharing her story and said, “It was hard for me to live. Anmol had made my life to hell. There wasn’t any day in which I hadn’t cried. More than that, he killed my brother and tried to kill Nabin. I didn’t know how to face my family. I became weaker day by day. Although, my brother warned me to stay away from Anmol, I became close with him. I trusted Anmol more than my brother. But at the end of the day, he betrayed me. His blackmailing, photos and videos were the stuffs that stopped me for complaining to police. More than photos and videos, I was pregnant with the child of Anmol, this stopped me for complaining. At the beginning, I preferred abortion and tried a lot to commit suicide but couldn’t. I was depressed. On the other hand, Nabin came in my life and encouraged me to have baby. He convinced me for this. He further convinced me that there was no fault of the child and he married me. After getting married, we went to Canada. Nabin changed my life. In Canada, I gave birth of baby girl.

At the beginning, I hated my daughter. Whenever I used to see her, Anmol face used to come and I couldn’t look at her face. I felt ashamed. Her touch made me feel that Anmol was touching me.  I hated her touch. But when she grew up, I started loving and caring her. With the time elapse, I forgot everything. More than that, with the love of Nabin, I forgot the incident. With the support of Nabin, I opened my own restaurant and working in my own restaurant. I am happy now. Anmol is my nightmare.”

There were tears rolling in her eyes. She further added, “I don’t want to forgive him. Due to him, I suffered a lot. I couldn’t face my family because of the pain given by him.

On one hand, Smrika was sharing her story, and on the other hand, Anmol was listening our conversation though phone. He was sitting at the last table. I have convinced him not to come in front of us because I had fear that she couldn’t say her story.

“Do you still love him?” I asked her.

She was silent. Her eyes showed that she still love him but she doesn’t wanted to forgive him.

“No.” But her eyes were saying yes.
“If Anmol comes here and seeks forgiveness, what will you do?”   

She was speechless. She didn’t have any answer.
“What are you saying?” She said in surprised.
“Yes, if he comes, what will you do?”

She was still speechless. Then, I called Anmol. When he came near, she got up from the chair. She was amazed to see him.
“You here?”

His eyes were full of tears. They both sat on the chair. I was looking at both of them. I wanted to leave but Anmol didn’t let me go. They both were silent.

Meanwhile, I insisted Anmol to say something and finally, he spoke. “I am sorry. Besides, forgiveness, I don’t have any words to say. After you left, I am dying with full of guilty. After you left, I realized that you had really loved me truly. I started missing your love and your presence. I misused you and spoiled your life. I killed your brother and hurt best friend.”

She was silent and was listening to Anmol whereas Anmol was focus on Smrika. Even I was listening to their conversation. I wish she would forgive him and more ahead. I wish the same with Anmol. I wish everything will be fine.

“I don’t want you to come back in my life. I want you to be happy with Nabin and with your lovely daughter. I don’t ask our daughter. I wish her to be happy and want Nabin to be good father.”

She, then, said, “How did you know about Nabin and daughter?”

“I heard the conversation between you and the writer. I wanted to your side. I was searching for you here and there but couldn’t find. So, I asked help for writer to search you and Nabin. I wanted to seek for forgiveness and move ahead.

Honestly, I haven’t slept for many days. I had bad nightmares. In dreams, I have seen you loosing and something bad happened to you which made me guilty. I want to you forgive me. I don’t want you to be back in my life. I want you to be happy. I want to you be my friends again and I know it’s time to build trust.”

She was in tears. More than that, she was finding any right words to tell. In the meantime, Rajesh said, “Please, Smrika forgive him. Everyone deserves one chance. I know whatever he have done is not right. Forget and forgive. Move ahead. If somebody asks forgiveness from bottom of the heart, s/he should be forgiven.”

“I can forgive you but cannot forget the incidents that you have done. It took long period of time to move ahead. Now, I don’t want to remember any bad memories. Nobody deserves forgiveness after such incident but you too need second chance so, it’s better if you leave us in our condition. About the friendship, I cannot give you any guarantee. I am sorry. Sorry, I need to go now.”

She left the place. Anmol was happy that at least they had a conversation. Now, he doesn’t want to complain and want to move ahead.





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