THE PERFORMATIVE “KHAYO?”: ASKING IF YOU ATE EVEN WHEN WE KNOW THE ANSWER
“Khayo?” The question slips out almost automatically when we meet someone in the afternoon or evening. Did you eat? A simple inquiry, yet it rarely seeks new information. Often, we already know the answer—our friend just came from lunch, or the timing makes it obvious. But we ask anyway, as if the question itself is a ritual we can’t leave behind. In Nepali life, “Khayo?” is less about the literal act of eating and more about extending care. It is a way of folding someone into your attention, of saying: I am thinking of your well-being. Like many Nepali exchanges—“Ghar ramro?” or “Sanchai?”—the purpose is not to interrogate but to reaffirm a bond. It is performance, but not in a disingenuous way; it is a shared social dance where both sides know the steps. This performative “Khayo?” reflects the communal core of our culture. We do not see eating as a purely individual act. Meals are social markers—an index of health, happiness, and normalcy. A person who skips a meal or eats late...